How Shifters see themselves

Shifters see themselves in many different ways, but few of these ways match what the modern world thinks of Shifters.

"I kept a journal and in my writings I used metaphors and anologies to try to describe my feelings. These attempts always framed things from a canine point of view, yet it wasn't 'til my late 20's that I began to wonder about that"-anonymous quote

"I could care less if I am a "freak". I don't care what other people think about me. I am me. I am different from the masses of society in unique and profound ways, anyway. Being physically different would trouble me not."-anonamous quote

"It's strange. If I were handed the ability to PS {physically Shift, slang}, I would look at it and say "Hey cool" and go on with my life, occasionally PSing just for the hell of it (assuming it were one of the versions where I could control the when's and wherefor's). But it's not something I have a great deal of yearning for. I'd much rather learn to do some other fantastical things."-anonymous quote

"I am a Man-Wolf. Very much the enduring, shaggy, wolf in human form. When you yourself can stalk, or enjoy crisp moonlit evenings, or you just have this urge to disappear into the woods and survive alone, then you will understand why I am a WereWolf"-anonymous quote

"If you want someone that claims to be the hollywood portrayal of a Muscle-bound, bi-pedal, Big Bad Wolf that is a real bad-ass, look elsewhere. Those people are usually nothing more than snot-nosed kids or braggarts"-anonymous quote

"Why would it be a spirit at all? I find it disturbing that you would consider someones 'were-side' as a separate entity when it should be an aspect of themselves. I don't know if people would enjoy being possessed the way you consider a WereWolf."--anonymous quote

"How does this affect my life? In many ways, not much at all. I am still human, I am still a Christian, I am still a part of the society that surrounds me. But my instinctive actions and reactions remain canine, as does my spirit."--anonymous quote

"I been itching to change my skin since I don't know when. Can't do it in dreams- Lord knows I've tried. I've wanted to, so badly; I can manage when I meditate with drums, in the trance. Whether or not that counts for anything I don't know, because it's never very deep and scarcely rings true, except on some tiny faraway level. Something deep down wants to, but I don't know if it can."--anonymous quote

"I do not think I am a dog, I do not wish I was a dog (except on mornings when I'd rather sleep in), I do not want to be treated like a dog, or have sex with a dog. I don't even like dogs better than people (although there are some dogs I like better than some people...). Part of me is a dog, or closer to Dog than to Man, but it is only part of me, albeit a big part. I am the sum of all my parts and I would not deny either side, human or canine."--anonamous quote

"And who cares about proof anyway? You can only keep up a facade for so long. Eventually, if they're immature enough to say that they're PSers when they're not, they'll get sick of their stupid game and leave."--anonymous quote

"Many Shifters are artistically biased. A lot of us are visual artists, some are musicians, many are fiction writers. Some of us are even magickians and Wiccans. 'The Howling'{a werewolf movie} was kinda right about the brain hemisphere bit."--anonymous quote

"Some of them get very neurotic about not being to ShapeShift- it's a dream that many of them hold very very dear to their hearts..others treat their kinship as something to show off. Some are intensely secretive of it outside the circle of their own kind on the Net, and some aren't so much like that."--anonymous quote

"So nice to find a whole BUNCH of fellow lupines (and other weres!) So nice to hear others who also cannot sleep when the Moon is full (ah, the moonlight sings in the blood, like fine old wine. I dance and bounce and howl my joy at her, and she smiles back down at me, My Lady Mother so bright and silvery and ahh, what can I say, she's getting bigger every night, and soon, again, it will be that bestest time of all!)"--anonymous quote

"I have met over 50 weres in person and only disliked 4"--anonymous quote

"....shaking, howling, yearning. Get away from the city, run naked through the woods."-- anonymous quote

"I just joined the cyberworld, I couldn't beleive the amount of weres. I have been part wolf my whole life, I don't play any "roleplaying" games."-- anonymous quote

"And your depiction of totemic/integrated shifters does not take everything into account. I have _three_ distinctive sides, NOT two. Wolf, werewolf, and human. The werewolf side is usually dominantly present, but doesn't show signs that most people OR most weres can interpret, unless I _want_ to make it known." -- anonymous quote

How Shifters see themselves and other Shifters varies alot. Some of them consider themselves human and animal at the same time. Some of them consider themselves a rival intelligent life form that is only superficially similar to humans, as if Shifters were their own species (some of these are very "racist" against humans). Some Shifters consider themselves an animal born in a human body, in much the same way that some people consider themselves a man born in a woman's body. Some Shifters consider themselves humans that have been "adopted" by an Animal Spirit.

Most Shifters speak of their Animal side as if it were a separate creature, such as saying "Wolf has been sleeping", "Wolf was nervous today", ect. For some, Wolf IS a separate creature, a spirit or an aspect of their subconcious that guides them and teaches them and helps them shift, as they absorb more of Wolf and become more of a WereWolf. Thus they are a Wolf, yet they also have a Wolf spirit.

Many Shifters do not see Wolf as a separate creature, but as a part of their personality (not a separate personality) that cannot be separated from the rest of them, Wolf is a point of view they sometimes assume, in much the same way many young people often assume the point of view of their "inner child". These Shifters are quick to point out that regardless of their mood, mental processing pattern, or even body, they ARE their Wolf, even though they find it convienient to speak of that part of themselves as if it were a separate creature. But these Shifters still find it convientient to speak of that animal viewpoint as if it was a separate creature.

Some Shifters believe their Wolf is a real live Wolf living in the Wild somewhere, not a nefarious spirit or aspect of their own subconcious.

Some Shifters actually have a separate personality, like multiple personality, for their Wolf or their WereWolf side.

Many Shifters are "total skeptics" when it comes to Physical Shifting, that is, they beleive it never has happened. Some "total skeptics" believe science will someday make physical shifting possible for them, and hope fervently for the day it is possible to come.

Some Shifters believe that of all the folktales and eye-witness accounts in history of Physical ShapeShifting, that none of the tellers of these tales, or the peasants in the area, ever actually believed that any Physical Shifting ever occured. These Shifters claim that everything from ancient tales to 18th-century eyewitness reports was only meant to be symbolic descriptions of mental shifters, that none of the people involved thought that physical shifting had occured. Despite much evidence to the contrary and the distinction made in many, many tales between mental shifters and physical shifters (such as the distinction norse lore made between berserkers {bear-shirts} who were clearly pointed out to be mental shifters, and physical shifters who really grew fangs and fur). I think it is reasonable to argue that no physical shifting has ever occured, but it is just plain silly to argue that no-one has believed they saw evidence of it.

Many Shifters believe Physical Shifting is possible, but aren't sure whether it ever has happened, and even if they think it has, they find it hard to believe it happens today, in the modern world. Many believe it has happened in the past.

Some Shifters definately believe in Physical Shifting. These kind are often subject to a fair amount of teasing by "total skeptics" and some teasing by those who sorta believe.

A very few Shifters see themselves as the Bi-pedal, wall-of-walking-muscle, 300 pound stereotype of modern WereWolf fiction. Since nearly all Shifters see themselves as the simple human-to-Wolf werewolves of folklore the world over, the Bi-pedal stereotypes are often subject to a fair amount of teasing, especially when they first show up. And if they claim to Physically change, you can practically cut the skepticism with a knife, it is so thick.

PROFILES Following are anonymous profiles of the only 3 Shifters I have ever met in person. Actually, I think I've met many more, but these are the only ones I've met and know well enough to write profiles on.

An Anonymous person I will call C. I went to High School with C. He has very odd-looking blue eyes, very deep blue, and the irises were sorta an odd shape. I'm not sure whether to call his hair color a dark blonde or light brown. He wore it long, and kept growing it all the time that I regularly saw him. His hair had an odd texture to it. He was extremely tall and thin, and very shy and ashamed about being so tall. C was definately not very hairy compared to the average guy his age. C had very good vision and wore no glasses. C was pressured to be on the BasketBall team many times, because of his height and physical fitness, but he would never have anything to do with sports. He was not a jock, and seemed almost intellectual, yet he was not a geek. He was very curious and intelligent, though. He was tired of School, his family had moved so many times that, despite being smart, he was set back and was the oldest Sophomore by far when he moved into town. C skipped school a lot. C was a workaholic who worked long hours every day, both at the 2 or more jobs he always seemed to have and on his father's farm, he often skipped school to work. He was a motorcycle-freak and had several motorcycles. He could fix nearly any motor he came across and once was given a nice motorcycle because he fixed it and he was the only one who could, it had been considered hopeless before. He usually wore a leather jacket. Every so often C would suddenly disapear for a week or two on his motorcycle and travel across the country, skipping School and work and often getting fired. He had a restless itch to wander that would build up in him. He often went to Georgia on these trips, because he was from there and had a number of freinds there, and he sometimes brought freinds back with him. He hardly interacted with the existing social structure, he had a bunch of very odd freinds, many from other towns, that he hung out with. He was disdained by the cool kids, but it never mattered to him much. C didn't want the things the cool kid social circles could offer him. C was regarded with suspicion by much of the town and was rumored to be something really odd. C sometimes referred to himself as a monster or as an animal, yet he was very sweet, mild, and kind. C seemed to be introverted and shy, he was easily made nervous. The first time I met C, he was very glad to see me and acted like we were very good freinds who had known each other a long time. This surprised me and on asking around, I found out his family had lived just down the hill from our propety years ago and I (and my sister) had gone to his place and played with him and his sister 5 or 6 times. This had happened when I was 7 or 8 or so. I remembered it, but didn't remember much about it, just talking with a girl and boy who I couldn't remember by name and swinging on swings. But C was convinced that we had become really good freinds, like brother/sister in soul or something, during that time. He was hurt that I only vaguely remembered him. I've often wondered what it was about me, or what I did or said, that impressed C so much. After the "first" time I met C, we ran into each other a lot, and since my sister became best freinds with his sister, I got to go over to his place often, and we would talk sometimes. C seemed to be very "psychic" and often read my mind or told me what I was thinking. He claimed he had had a hard childhood. He was very shy, though, and there was always this mysterious air about him. He had this room in the basement, he build it himself by mortaring cement blocks together to make a tiny room with 4 walls in the middle of the basement, with a blanket for the door. I was in it a couple times, it had these completely bare cement walls, a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling on a cord, and a tiny cot with a few blankets in the corner. Nothing else. It made me feel sorry for him, to have such a bare, dungeon-like place for his room. But it sort-of fit his personality. C and his family raised rabbits for food for themselves. Once I said to C "Wow, that must be great to have fresh rabbit all the time" but he said he didn't like it and dropped some hints that despite only seeing each rabbit for a few seconds at feeding time, he was too attatched to the rabbits to be happy eating them. He found it very hard to talk about his feelings at all, and was thus distanced from me somewhat. He was easily hurt, and It could nearly always be read from his face and actions and a few hints he would drop what had hurt him, but he wouldn't talk about it, it seemed it would crush him to talk about it. After a while he started telling me he liked me nearly every day, and followed me around stepping on the back of my shoes, making beeping sounds, and talking baby-talk in a high pitched voice. This was his way of trying to tell me he was romantically interested in me. (I picked up a few of his habits and now sometimes follow my Boyfreind, Tim, around making beeping sounds. Tim loves it.) C actually asked me out on a date once, to go dancing, then stood me up (he lied about having to work, cuz I went to Sam's place afterwards and C was there) because he asked around and heard that I was one of the best dancers in town, and since he was very bad at dancing and felt awkward at it, he thought it would be too embarressing. C was very very hurt when he saw I knew he had lied and stood me up. He was very embarressed and afraid he would lose me forever. I forgave him, but it made me think a lot. He was in love with me, I could see, yet I knew if I dated him his expectations would rise too high and he would be crushed when he learned I only loved him as a freind. So I didn't date him even though he asked me a few more times. I also didn't hang out alone with him very often, like he wanted me to. I've often wondered since if I could have or should have got to know him better without him getting his hopes up for a girlfreind, because he was a good freind, and I would have liked to spend more time with him. In march or so of my senior year, while I was making plans to go to college, C was still in love with me. He begged me not to go to college and asked me to marry him every day for a month or so. He seemed very disapointed when I said no, every time, and he had me explain the reasons over and over. C didn't really see reason in the situation, C just thought that two people who loved each other and got along well and who were male and female should somehow get around reason. The last marriage conversation happened like this. Me, my sister, and C's sister were lying in C's sister's bed, talking for a long time. C came in and said something, and then C's sister and my sister left to go find something they wanted to look at. C said something cute or something to me and then lay down on the bed, not near me, and not touching me. We just lay there talking and looking at the ceiling. He asked me to explain again about why I wouldn't marry him. I talked to him about how badly I needed to get out of the little town, I talked about how badly I needed to learn math and science and stuff, about how it burned in my soul, I talked about our differences, the things that are okay when your just freinds but would drive a wife crazy (C has been described as one of the most annoying people in existance), I talked about the way he couldn't talk about his feelings, and the way some of his habits would be very hard to endure if I was any closer to him, I talked about how far I was from being ready to marry anyone, how young and scared I felt about the idea. I talked about how I needed to escape the "hillbilly lifestyle" of marrying young that plagued my entire family. I rambled on for a while, and C seemed very quiet, and seemed to be really listening, open to hearing these ideas, unlike before. When we were done talking, I had a feeling like he really understood, and knew that I loved him, but as a freind. I didn't seem to sense any bitterness in him. After that, when I talked with him or was with him, he seemed cheery, glad to see me, and marriage was never mentioned again. All the time I knew him, I never even kissed him. He still seemed very happy to be with me. Very soon after that, he started going steady with N., who is a very nice girl and who has a personality that would really fit with him. When I first heard about it, I thought "yes, N. is the only girl I can think of that C wouldn't drive crazy sooner or later". Me, N, and C got together a few times and talked, and I was invited to hang out with N and C more times than I could have gotten together with them that summer, but once I declined through mere shyness. About a year later, N gave birth to a baby boy, C's son. The next time I visited C and his wife N (who was gone at the time) C was very glad to see me and asked me all about college. I knew about the baby and C knew I knew, but the subject didn't come up until C's father said "Why don't you tell them what's new with you?". C then showed a typical, but a little more extreme than usual, C-type shyness behavior. C turned a very bright shade of red almost instantly, looked at the ground, and started drawing designs with the toe of his shoe. He drew designs for about what was probably 5 minutes, but it seemed like 10. Then he looked at me and said "Dada" and quickly turned an even redder shade and looked quickly to the side. Then C's father started talking about the baby in a proud-grandparent type of way, and after awhile C was drawn into the conversation and started making a few short comments. He seemed happy to be a father once he started talking about it. I've seen C a few times since then, he's always been glad to see me. The last time I saw C was about two years ago, he didn't see me, I think. He was in a car driving in another direction. I think about him sometimes. I wonder if his children will start showing lycanthropic tendencies. Will they grow up to be WereWolves? Sometimes I wonder if his wife knows, or suspects, what he is. Someday I'll visit him again, probably when I get enough time and money to take my boyfreind to visit my old freinds and old hometown.

An Anonymous person I will call B. I never got to know B very well, but she seems easy-going and very nice and always stops to talk when she sees me. B is somewhat plump, but definately not fat. B is fairly tall for a woman. She moves in an odd way, like an animal. B has blue eyes of a very odd look, although it is hard to say what it is that looks so odd about them. B has hair that is either dark blonde or light brown, but I can't tell which color it is exactly. B has a very soft, mellow-sounding voice that puts others at ease. B has very bad eyesight that constantly gets worse, and she wears contacts. She says the bad eyesight is inherited and there is nothing she can do. B is quiet and doesn't usually say much. She seems happy and content much of the time. B likes animals a lot, especially Wolves. She used to hang out at a petting zoo where Wolves were and take many photos of them. B likes nature and the outdoors. B seems intelligent and resourceful. B works a lot and is busy much of the time.

An anonamous person I will call K. I knew K for about two years or so, in 6th and 7th grades. K and his family moved into town from Chicago, and loved the "freindly country atmosphere". They loved the way strangers would cross the street to talk to them. This was in the beginning. K, once again, had very odd-looking blue eyes and hair that was either dark blonde or light brown, I'm not sure which color. His eyes were unusually, well, "feral" looking, it did feel like looking into a Wolf's eyes to look at them. K was unusually skinny and had a lean frame. K was very short for his age. K wore glasses. K seemed intellectual, but not extremely so. For the first 2 months or so, K made a bad reputation for himself by stealing everything small he could get his hands on, like pencils. K started to be rejected by the social circles, mostly over his stealing. K was very emotional, thoughtful, and sensitive. K realized he couldn't steal anymore and stopped doing it, but he was teased and every missing item, even ones he was never near, was blamed on him in a "joking" way and he was sometimes beat up over it. K and his older teenage sister were also beat by their parents, and both were miserable about it. After the rejection by the social groups over stealing things, even though he didn't do it anymore, things went downhill for K. K was accused of being a WereWolf, and persecuted for it. I never heard the reasons why this had been "decided" by his classmates, but I did hear that several rumors about it were moving around. I just heard statements that these rumors existed, I never heard what they were. On one occasion K and me and a group of people were going to a class, and K was being teased. K really liked animals and fed all the strays and played with them and petted them, even though the only macho and accepted thing for a male that age in the town to do with strays was torturing them for kicks. This time, K was being teased about a female dog he was feeding and had "adopted" and who came into his house. The kids told him "we know what you are, you're just feeding her so you can bring her into your room, shapeshift, and have sex with her". K protested, saying he didn't have sex with her and K lectured them about how animals shouldn't be mistreated and how strays should be fed, he talked about how he loved animals, but he was shouted down and teased more. Especially when he said he loved animals, the kids said stuff like "yeah, we know HOW you love them" in a sexually-implying way. I felt sorry for him, but, having just started to be accepted by the popular kids myself, and having recently been near the bottom of the social ladder, I was afraid to try to defend K, especially since I knew it wouldn't work. K was teased even worse after that. K was often cornered and taken behind the school at recess where about 30 kids would hold him down, hit him, tickle him, and dare him to physically shapeshift. I often saw this happen, and many times I could hardly see K for all the kids swarming over him. They often grabbed him and dragged him off like this when he asked the door monitor to let him inside to go to the bathroom, and they would try to hold him down until he peed his pants, which happened a number of times. I don't know if he ever Physically Shapeshifted during these episodes, and I don't even know if he was a Physical Shifter or not. He was often hurt during these episodes. Then K did something which I think was intended as a warning-scare to his tormentors. I and K were in the same english class, and we all had to write short stories and read them in class. K wrote a short story, written in the first person (using "I") as if it had really happened to him, about being a WereWolf and killing and eating his mother and a whole bunch of other people. It had a whole bunch of gory details in it, like wrapping intestines around a telephone pole, and as he read it, the way he looked at the class, his tone of voice, and body language, gave me little doubt that he was talking directly to them, threatening them. It was so obviously a scare tactic, a "leave me alone or else" threat. Everyone was talking about what he did before long, and then the 20-30 people attacks suddenly got even meaner and landed K in the hospital emergency room 2 or 3 times. K never did carry out his threats, if that's what they were. No dead bodys ever showed up or anything like that. Either K couldn't carry them out, wouldn't carry them out, or hadn't meant the story he wrote to be a threat. His parents tried to get the school to prevent the kids from dragging him off and abusing him like that, but the school, as usually happened when an underling was being beat up and the beating condoned by the will of the social groups of kids, looked the other way, claimed kids will be kids, or claimed it didn't really happen. I know teachers noticed these attacks. His parents feared for K's safety and had to move back to Chicago. I find it ironic that city folk had to flee to Chicago from a small town to protect their son from a dangerous school enviornment. I hope he did better in Chicago. At least there it's less likely that he will be suspected of being a WereWolf. Last I heard, K was still living there. Three years ago I saw someone that might have been K, looked a lot like K (but of course many years older than the last time I saw him), moved like K, and had K-like eyes, in a Hardees not too far from Chicago. I only had about a minute or less to decide whether to go up to him and say "are you K? How are you doing?" or whatever, and I chickened out. I never asked. Sometimes I wish I had.

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